


i remember

by Lilywastaken



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Why do I do this, bye, phil died three years ago
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 01:58:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8268422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilywastaken/pseuds/Lilywastaken
Summary: I wrote this like three years ago so please don't be too hard on me:(Hope you enjoy!





	

Do you remember that time when we first met? I remember your bright smile, and your cute dimples. I remember the sparkling blue of your eyes and the crinkles by it when you smiled. Your dark black hair, falling in a mess on the side of your face. The softness of your pale skin, like silk under my fingers. I remember the warmth of your hand in mine. I remember our amazed silence while we were staring at each other in the middle of the crowded station. I remember I only saw you, everything around us seemed blur and voiceless. I only heard the soft sound of your breathing. I remember our readiness to fill the space between us, our readiness to finally touch each other, discover each other. I remember our lips finally united in eagerness. And your arms wrapping around my neck while mine were resting gently on your waist. I remember I couldn't believe my luck. To finally be able to hold my universe in my arms. I remember the car trip to my house in the center of London, when we were laughing, singing and dancing to the beat of some random music. I remember your eyes when you discovered London's monuments and districts, you were astonished by the beauty of the city. I, on the other hand was astonished by your beauty. I remember I found you adorable. You were always adorable. I remember our first video together. How shy and cute you looked, giggling at every joke I made. I remember the tons of picture you and I did this day. I remember that night, while we both lie on my bed talking about everything and nothing staring in each other's eyes, you said you loved me. I remember the lump in my stomach when I answered weakly that I loved you too. I remember the months after this, when we moved in together, since we couldn't bear being away from each other. I remember our Christmas and Valentine's day together. I remember that pure and intense happiness you brought me during those two years we had been together. I remember our coming-out. I remember your joy when you realized we didn't have to hide our love anymore. I remember that video you made me where you were reminding me every single moment you loved spending with me. I remember how much I cried watching it, I remember you held me tight and you kiss me soflty. I still cry sometimes when I think about it. It's been three years since you left. I'm still not over it, I still can't believe it. Sometimes I close my eyes and I pretend you're here, your head laying on my bare chest, balanced by the rythme of my breathing, I turn on the tv and I remember our evenings spent in our bedroom watching Netflix all night. And it almost feels like you're still there with me. But you're not, and you'll never be anymore. I can't stop remembering, you, the love I felt for you, and still feel, our life together. And the pain in my chest become unbearable. I miss you, I need you by my side. I need your sleepy voice to wake me up on a Sunday morning after a well-deserved sleep, I need you to open the mails I get, I need your funny and adorable comments, I need your presence in my videos, I need to smell your scent on my sheets and clothes. I need you to come back. I need you to be me.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this like three years ago so please don't be too hard on me:(  
> Hope you enjoy!


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